March 13, 2017 at 11:55 am #2248PJAYParticipant
When it comes to NSA or FWB (friends with benefits) do you find these boundary-defining labels to be effective and straight forward or do you find them to be messy and unrealistic? The rules of this game are to not cave in and develop any real attachments or romantic feelings while gaining a sexual partner that you can depend on to commit on a physical level. But like… how is that even possible? granted, two people can become sexual before ever feeling anything for each other. If it becomes a regular thing or you share parts of your lives, thoughts, emotions, and struggles with each other before sex even occurs, is it realistic to maintain those previous boundaries?
Personally, this seems like a messy way express sexuality (not judging, just not fond of it) As humans and as sexual beings, I think we are designed to connect. In fact, we are hardwired for it. I don’t see a FWB relationship lasting very long for two reasons, A because you’ve moved on and found an actual partner who wants to be there for you on all levels, or B because one of you broke the rules and realized “Hmmm I actually want more”.
I’d love to hear the UNICULT’s opinion on this.April 6, 2017 at 4:35 pm #2255Kyrie FluffinsParticipant
It’s never worked for me, but maybe it works for others.April 6, 2017 at 11:38 pm #2256misty-moonstoneParticipant
I agree with Kyrie and PJAY. This is also something Unicole and Jeremy talked about in one of the 7pm times. When you’re intimate with someone, it can be a really passionate act of soul and energy sharing. I’m not personally interested in surface-level intimacy. There’s a lot of closeness with a sexual partner that you don’t have with anyone else, not even best friends or family, and to me, that can’t be casual. However, I know of a lot of people who just want to have sex, and that’s obviously fine, I just don’t understand it. It seems like you’re using someone’s body as a means to an end. If that’s consensual then it’s fine but it wouldn’t work for me. I would personally always feel used.May 1, 2017 at 10:40 am #2303PJAYParticipant
EXACTLY, it does seem like it’s just using someone for their body and I would argue that this exactly is what is happening. If you can hook up with someone and not care or speak to them at all except to set up another hook up then it does seem like their body is all you want them for. However, I know some people settle for this just to feel wanted by someone. Personally, I don’t want that, not that I haven’t done this in the past or will not do it in the future, but I’m learning that what I’m after is understanding, connection, and companionship.
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