Today we’re going to be talking about Fundamentals of UNICULT. We’re talking about conflict resolution and I do feel as though I’ve done a phenomenal job in this chapter. I reread it yesterday and I have to say that all the information is here, but it’s super condensed.
I’m going to try to talk about some things that are in this chapter. If you have the book you can study along, but there’s things in here that are kind of hidden in very concise sentences. I think, sometimes, I write in a way that I answer the thing and then I don’t touch on it again and then some people understand it in a different way.
Today, I’m going to structure the sermon, in the way that we understand it in Unicult, which begins within.
When we talk about conflict resolution we wanna talk about “Peace on Earth [and Goodwill to all Cats!”” We don’t say “oh well, I’m going to go raid that country over there and force them to be nice to each other,” we say “I’m going to go inside my own consciousness and unify all the parts of the whole within my own consciousness, so that I have peace inside myself, I radiate that out into my relationships, then I radiated it out into my community, then I radiated it out into my country, and then I radiated it out into the world!
We begin within, in Unicult. When we talk about conflict resolution, it’s important to understand: “What is conflict and why does it happen?” Conflict is a misunderstanding or ignorance in a difference between realities. It’s as simple as that. In Unicult we talk about having personal reality, physical reality, and social reality. We have all the different levels of reality.
We usually think of conflict as two different people having an issue is because two different realities are happening at once. One person has an idea about: who they are, what they’re doing, why they’re doing it, and how we should do things. Then another person has an idea that doesn’t seem to align with that idea, so they seem to be in disharmony.
I think it’s really good for us to start understanding conflict as “disharmony” rather than “Us versus Them.”
Of course, we talk in Unicult a lot about the psychological warfare tactic that is used by a lot of cults, and also, our government, our news sources, and everything. They talk about “Us versus Them,” which is creating an insular in-group of “right people” and an out-group of “wrong people,” who are bad and evil. This is duality.
By splitting up people, it takes away from the humanity of them. We say, “Oh, this is why we have racism, this is why we have any kind of religious wars.” We say, “Well, we’re the special people, they’re the bad people, they’re wrong!” In Unicult we don’t use this tactic, we actually do the opposite. We’re actually trying to deprogram everyone from this, because it’s taking our world into a hell, and there’s no point for us to have this conception of duality. There’s no point for us to have this discordant energy among people.
When we talk about conflict resolution in Unicult, I think a lot of people may have heard those words at work, or in the office, or something like that. It’s much bigger than that. It’s not just about creating profits by having a synergized team of people, conflict resolution starts within the self. It’s that energy which consumes, and understands, and creates reality for you.
Our personal reality is very real. As real as physical reality is as real as other people’s reality is. We don’t experience it in any way other than through our own consciousness, we have to begin within. We have to start this battle inside our own consciousness. This is called “shadow work.” This is called “transmutation.” This is called “understanding the different aspects of the self to harmonize them.” For me personally, I have usually identified in myself two distinct sides of myself. There’s the masculine and the feminine. The child self and the parent self. With masculine-feminine usually something that can be thought of like the “active go-getter” and the “the emotional receiver.” All of these parts inside of ourselves have to be working together in a harmonized fashion, so that we can accomplish our goals. The way that we do this, inside our own consciousness – You’re going to see this come up a lot when we talk about conflict between people, to validate the experience of each party. Inside our own consciousness, if we validate the experience of our child self, which we oftentimes don’t. When we’re a child we say, “I don’t feel like my parents listen to me. I don’t feel like my parents kept me safe enough. I feel like my parents were mean to me when they forced me to do things.” And then your parents are like, “Well that’s just the way it is, get with the program!”
So you harden and deaden that other aspect of yourself which is your child self, and you just “get with the program.” That creates a toxic conflict inside your consciousness, where that child self, that part of you that wanted to be heard and protected, got forgotten. That child self is still there, inside of you, begging for you to hear it. When you don’t listen, when you ignore something, then it grows. We have to address the problems. When you ignore your trauma and your pain, when you try to repress it, it comes out in all these weird ways. You might attack other people and say, “You just need to get with the program.” You might be a troll. You might have your pain coming out in other ways, where you feel like you have to control other people. You might have drug or alcohol problems, because you don’t feel like you can deal with the conflict that’s inside you. You want to escape it by having your consciousness be drugged.
When we learn how to harmonize the conflict inside of ourselves, by identifying the parts of ourselves which hurt and by validating its needs – that part of ourselves that is crying out, saying, “Please don’t make us get up for work again today, please don’t make us do this or do that.” We have to listen and validate and it’s not that you have to say, “Okay, well we’re never going to go to work again, thanks child self you just ruined our life” – you don’t have to hold that resentment. You can listen; you can say “Hey, I hear that, this is hard. I hear that this isn’t aligned with my true heart to go to work every day. I love you, I care about you and I’m going to do everything I can so that we can have a life that is better for us.”
That doesn’t mean you quit your job on the spot. But it means you listen and you make decisions from both sides of yourself, from all the different energies that are existing inside of your consciousness. When you can listen to and validate all the aspects of yourself, you harmonize because empathy is the key. It’s hard to imagine, but when you have these split aspects of yourself, inside of yourself, you’re actually not empathizing. If you have a child self that says, “Please, I don’t want to keep getting up at this time of day. It doesn’t suit me, it’s not right for me.” And you reply, “Shut up. I don’t care. Let’s just go, we have to do this, because we have to do this. Is the right thing to do,” you’re not empathizing with that part of yourself. Empathy is the key. 9:07
We have to learn to empathize with the aspects of ourselves. We have to learn how to empathize with our child aspect, with our higher self aspect, with our lower self aspect, and with our shadow aspect. With all the different needs and desires we have inside of ourselves.
If you have a violent aspect – let’s say – and that violent aspect says, “Well, I just want to punch that person! I just would just be so angry, I’d burn their house down!” If you have an aspect of yourself that’s like that and you say, “Oh my god, I would never do that! Shut up, go away, be quiet!” You’re not validating that person’s experience. I’m not saying, “Punch people, burn their house down.” I’m saying, “Listen. I hear that you’re being hurt right now and that you’re angry and that you need better protection. Let’s figure out a safe way to have protection that doesn’t include violence.” When you empathize with these aspects of yourself, even if they’re scary or bad or creepy or weird, those are your shadow or shameful. You bring them into the light. You create harmony inside your soul. When you create harmony inside your soul, you align with the harmony of source energy, you align with the harmony of the highest reality, you align with the harmony of the universe, you enter into a “flow state” where manifestation can happen much more rapidly and much more easily. This is the one qualifier of the universe, this is the one free will thing that you get to do, you get to choose to be aligned or you get to choose to be chaotic. Chaos is fine, it’s cool to explore, but when you’re trying to progress, it’s kind of a free-for-all; it’s kind of a shit show. 10;50 just putting time reference here and there watching the video – SMART!
I recommend entering into the stream of flow that comes from harmonization. Once you have harmonized your own internal reality you can much more easily harmonize your relationship with other people, because one of the aspects of self that needs to be harmonized is the ego, and the higher self. My ego, for instance, is someone who really wants attention, who’s scared that people don’t like them, who wants to prove themselves through work and things like that, and then my higher self understands this greater plan. So those two entities, those two aspects of myself work in harmony together to do the highest reality work, which is sharing my heart and sharing my information and sharing my truth with you all, and my lower self, my ego, is in service to my higher self.
My ego has all these cool attributes, but when my ego runs the show it doesn’t really feel good. Because the things that my ego wants to hold on to are sometimes material, sometimes impermanent, and then I want them to be permanent things, and then I get attached. Attachment is a really ego-based thing. Maybe my ego is not the person who should be driving the boat, per se, but they are a vehicle. My persona, my physical persona, my human self is a great vehicle for this higher energy to come through and to express through. We work in harmony together. We don’t have to be the same, we don’t have to have the exact same goals. My lower self might say, “I want a doughnut!” My higher self says, “You should eat some kale.” And we figure out how to navigate that dynamic in a way that serves both of us, both sides of ourselves.
When we talk about conflict between ourselves and other people, it’s important to understand that everything we just talked about with ourselves, we get to apply to our conversation with other people. When we are attached to an outcome, when we are thinking that there is duality – right or wrong, me versus you – and we feel like it’s a battle, we feel like it’s a war, then we’re not going to be doing the highest harmonic work. We’re actually going to be creating a more discordant reality.
To recap, what did we just talk about with harmonizing our own internal states? Empathy is the key. Both people have different realities, that’s cool, that’s great. Both people don’t need to be on the same page, but they need to understand each other’s motivation, each other’s desires, and each other’s history – to a certain extent – to understand why some things might be more sensitive than others. If you know someone who is more sensitive than you, someone who’s a little more psychic, and you’re not – a lot of people don’t hold space for these differences. They say “well that’s just weird,” and then they cut it out, and then they shun the other person for having a different way of being. We get this with autism, we get this with all kinds of different unique aspects that people have that are not bad, they’re just different than the majority of neurodivergent people. 14:20
We have to learn how to open up our consciousness to say, “Even though you’re not like me, I want to understand your experience of the world.” It’s like reading a book – and I know most people don’t read books – but I love to read fiction, and when I open up a book it’s like climbing inside of an author’s head. This is what you get to do when you’re empathizing with someone, you get to be curious about someone’s motivations, you get to be curious about someone’s desires, you get to be curious about how someone understands the world.
You have to first let go of your attachment to winning, you have to first let go of your attachment to needing to be right, and then you get to move into the space of empathy. And remember, just because you’re empathetic, just because you’re open to what someone else has to say, doesn’t mean you’ve lost a battle. First of all, there is no battle, and second of all, hopefully by showing that you’re interested in this other person’s experience, they will also open themselves and be interested in your experience. When two people can open their hearts to one another in an empathetic way – they don’t even have to agree – but they can just say, “I understand why you see the world that way, here’s why I see the world this way.” Then you just created a bridge of harmony, of understanding, you created a harmonic relationship that can move forward in a way that is aligned with the most divine frequency. 15:50
This extends even further. You know for me, and for those of us who are content creators or who are online or who are afraid to put themselves out there, because of the backlash, because of the misunderstandings, because of the fact that when the person doesn’t listen to aspects of themselves and they repress them that turns into insecurities and those insecurities get projected outwards as negative comments, as negative reactions, as judgments, as trolls, and it’s hard sometimes when you’re not trained in this to see that’s what’s happening, to see – you might take it very personally if someone says “well, you’re ugly” and you have an insecurity about being ugly and you don’t realize that person’s just insecure about being ugly, you might feel like they’re actually attacking you and they might – you just have like this negative reaction but if someone says, “you’re ugly,” and you can say, “wow I guess they can’t see my beauty doesn’t bother me none,” and you just let it go. They’re just creating their own reality based on their own insecurity. You get to have that control over yourself, you get to heal your insecurity, you get to be the source of your love – your personal love – by harmonizing those aspects of yourself. Who is that voice, saying negative things about you, why are they saying it? How can they listen to the other side of you, who doesn’t like that? From that point as content creators or as celebrities, I think – I’ve studied celebrities – and I think that the majority of celebrities just say, “wow people are nuts” and then they just turn off comments and they don’t look at them and they just continue on with their lives and I think they just try to ignore them and I think that’s fine I think that’s a great coping mechanism you know what that is? That’s “boundaries.” That’s something we’re going to talk about at the end but we can acknowledge that’s okay boundaries are totally fine but I think there is a higher more powerful potential for content creators and for celebrities and for all of us when we’re dealing with large numbers of people to step into an aspect of conflict resolution which involves empathy, and that empathy starts within your own experience, so if for instance I was just under attack by hundreds of thousands of trolls and when that happens it can feel really overwhelming like “wow everybody hates me nobody understands” me like that actually seems quite true it doesn’t matter though because I’m living in my truth I’ve harmonized my own self I don’t have any insecurity about who I am or why I’m doing what I’m doing.
so first I have to empathize with the other person I have to say “wow these people are really hurting they really don’t understand what I’m doing they have they’ve never been exposed to these concepts before I’ve triggered them very deeply and they’re having an emotional reaction it must be very uncomfortable I find empathy first. Then, I do what I can to communicate my experience if you saw my recent youtube video talking about my experience going viral for being crazy; I was able to express myself in a way that opened people’s minds up to my experience people who were willing to be empathetic were able to understand my experience and were able to build a bridge with one another because I was open heartedly explaining myself to them. 19:19
so again, boundaries are totally acceptable, they’re totally okay. If you’re in a situation with yourself and you’re in part of inside your own consciousness you have a desire to be violent or something like that: listen and understand it but you’re allowed to say okay you’re not you don’t get to drive the boat if you have a conflict with another person who is not going to be empathetic who is not going to listen to your experience even after you’ve listened to theirs and they’re just going to continue to spew their own insecurities onto you, you can set boundaries, you can always set boundaries to be safe, that is absolutely within your right because even we can be the best conflict resolution master in the entire world and there are people you will not reach and that’s okay.
so when you’re talking about conflict resolution and you say well I i know I can do it this has been my experience I go into these situations where I have conflict with someone and I say I know I can resolve this conflict because I know our hearts are aligned on the same frequency at the end of the day I know that this person’s heart is pure and my heart is pure and if only we could understand each other that we would be in harmony, and I would so much prefer to be in harmony than in discord because discord is very uncomfortable for me, but I can’t always reach people and sometimes boundaries need to be set and that’s okay.
so when we’re talking about conflict resolution it’s okay to be in pain, if you get triggered by somebody because of an insecurity or a pain within you that’s okay, it’s okay to take space, it’s okay to set little boundaries, if someone says something that hurts you and you need to take a step away you need to just meditate for a little bit to get your energy aligned hopefully the other person will be receptive if you communicate that in a positive way. The other day I was frustrated and I didn’t communicate in a good way I slammed some stuff around and I said “well fine I guess it’s just terrible then” and I stormed out of a room and then I was pretty ashamed of that but sometimes that happens to us right and we come back and we say I’m sorry that I didn’t communicate very well here’s what I actually needed and I need to be a better communicator about these things rather than trying to express myself in a violent way by slamming things around, right? 21:50
so, validating our pain is important, our pain serves us, it is a messenger. I think there’s a way of validating pain that we don’t remember to do which is to, so let’s say that you get triggered, when someone says, you’re “you’re dumb” right you’re like ah and you just like oh that’s a dumb thing to think if someone says that to you that’s not nice to say obviously anyone would be hurt if anybody said that to them but let’s say you get really triggered and you get really upset and you start crying and it hurts so bad, you can’t believe they said that. A lot of times when you have an extreme trigger to something it’s because it was a trigger that happened before it’s actually a pain that you’ve been repressing, it’s that child self , it’s that hurt self crying out trying to say “this is something we’ve never been protected from, we need to figure out a way to be protected.”
so you have to ask yourself when you go through a trigger like that – I’m someone who gets triggered pretty easily for a lot of different things because I had trauma when I was young and I’m very sensitive.
so when I get triggered I have to say when is the first time that I felt this feeling and I have to think I just sit I have to quiet my mind I have to quiet my body I have to meditate and I have to remember “where did this feeling come from originally?” and it’s almost always the situation in early childhood when our parents or you know were in a situation that weren’t protected that weren’t heard that weren’t listened to from that place then I can empathize with my child self but this pain this these expressions, these reactions, these emotional outbursts, these strong feelings are indicators for you to look at and validate the pain of certain aspects of ourselves, we’re so quick to shut these aspects down and to say like I don’t want to hear about it I don’t want to deal with that but that’s not the best thing to do. Another aspect of conflict resolution is called holding space is when somebody like the other day when I slammed an object down and I said well fine it’s all just stupid then and I just storm out of a room holding space is the act of just keeping holding it down just being calm not worrying about it and understanding that person’s in pain right now and not having another violent reaction in response to a violent reaction. Holding space is a great thing but you have to acknowledge that you don’t you are not responsible to hold space forever for somebody who’s never going to come around, that’s a boundary setting situation, but holding space if you can get to the point where if someone’s going through a hard time you can just be there for them without violently reacting that’s a huge aspect of conflict resolution that will save you a lot of trouble in the future. Once you understand someone else’s perspective I think the thing that’s really interesting that I found in conflict is that at the root, like you might have a conflict with someone and you might say, you know, red is the best color and the other person might say green is the best color and you might argue and the fact of the matter is you know you’re arguing about red and green but emotionally you’re going through the same thing.
so if you talk if you take the situation you take it away from the actual factual argument of like, you know, the physical reality or whatever and you bring it into the realm of emotional reality, this is a huge aspect of conflict resolution you say “I feel like you aren’t listening to me say that red is the best color the other person can say I feel like you don’t understand my vast history of knowledge about the color green” at the root of it both people feel as though they’re not being understood they feel like they’re not being heard they feel like they’re not being validated by the other person, both people are going through the exact same emotional reality which is a huge unifier when you think about it, when two people are going through the same exact emotional reality together and they’re both angry at the same time and they’re both upset at the same time and they’re experiencing these emotions at the same time it’s actually quite amazing that those energies and those emotions are discordant because they’re talking about some physical reality. 26:17
so just keep that in mind, that your emotional realities are oftentimes the same and that’s a great intro to empathy like “wow it seems like you’re in pain right now”. If you can if you’re in the middle of an argument with someone and you can stop and you can say I’m in a lot of pain right now it seems like you’re in pain too I’m here for you can you be here for me mastering conflict and conflict resolution isn’t about not listening to your emotions but it is about mastering them so that you aren’t violent there’s an aspect of conflict resolution which comes at you know we can call this five to fifth dimensional reality which is moving out of the reactionary energy of getting punched and punching back and getting punched and saying “hmm that hurt I want to solve this problem from a higher perspective what can we do?” and moving out of that reactionary energy and holding that space for yourself and for the other person and building a space of like a bubble of understanding and a bubble of harmony for you both to interact with you will create a harmonious reality.
so that is the sermon on conflict resolution, I think that it’s a challenging thing it takes years of practice, it starts within the self and if there’s someone in your life who you know is a good person but you have conflict with they are a good person to start if they’re going to be willing to, to try harmonizing it.
so thank you all for joining, thank you for celebrating my birthday with me today, we are going to be doing a meditation at 3 pacific time to celebrate the harmonic convergence the 33rd anniversary of the harmonic convergence we’re going to be doing a global meditation we’re going to be bringing in a lot of energy.
so please join us for that, and you will be blessed and otherwise for my birthday I please just want you all to meditate and to celebrate your higher selves and bring your higher selves into your bodies and happy birthday diana tomorrow thank you.